日番谷冬獅郎, Hitsugaya Tōshirō

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Friday, December 26, 2008

6:25 AM

[current music: A beautiful lie -30 seconds to mars]

[current mood: pissing.. in both ways]

(can choose to believe tis post or not, 'i dont care' -FallOutBoy)

todae i said i wanted to go Expo right?

then Bugis?

then i WAS also planing to go training after that, as i havent been going for sometime now..

and it Is after Christmas..

but!

suddenly, i dunn why?

my father ask me go Malaysia todae?!

so sudden..

i'm sorri Bh, Allson, Wc.,

if i changed the plans so sudden..

so todae was a couple of mess @$@%@#$

i hav to start now if i wan to buck up..

but it seems somethings are pulling me far far away..

i though bout it..

n.,

it seems is just my own thinking as i said.

my own imaginations tat are killing me.

what do i do then?:

i tink i will just put all aside and tis IS a trail for me.

i'll be stronge..

i'll brave the winds full force!

i said i'll do it but i havent prove it with actions!?

so posting won't help me,

but surely i'll pull through tis financial and life crisis..

Pray tat i will..

the Lord helps us if we have the courage to face so..

so todae i went Malaysia to help out with my Dad's work.,

dunno why?

but i hav been helping him file stuff,

type stuff,

write stuff..

all these while..

i guess a helping hand is needed in these times of crisis..

i'll be ther to help.,

but now my life of schooling, training,

is all clashing together with other works..

but what the hack?

when someone dearly to me needs help,

i'll be ther!

tat mean anyone out ther too!

some people out ther may think this is all a excuse to not go with them..

but i'll tell you now,

tis is not 'A Beautiful Lie' -30 Seconds to Mars/

it's not a perfect denial/

whether u believe it or not.,

count ur own thoughts then..

i'm nt goin to interfere..

in anyway i hav caused inconvenience..

i'm SORRY to all..

i said i'll be better and i'll start..

but pls,

just pls,

give me time..

time changes one's self you know..

so either persons fault,

i'll still forgiv forget..

hope u do so tis ~~2008..~~

in tis post,

i'll also type the main topic of whys?

(tis is an essay of my thoughts)

why ME?

i hav been asking myself and the Lord,

Why me?

why not someone else?

why cant anyone understand me?

why 2008?

why after a life of understanding and meanings,

Why?

must this word of 'whys' be in my community life?

i'll start with the 2nd semester of questions..

Why must i be distracted?

Why did i sleep in class?

why am i getting tis results?

is it basketball?

is it badminton?

is it the cramped conditions of my scheldule?

of is it friends?

i hav thought bout this major things in life that hav been lowering the standards of my life..

i tink after i hav gotten my end-of-year overall results tat i realise..

i tank my father so much for tis to come clear in light..

sometimes a good lecture can change one's minds..

so what am i talking about?

~~about the friends i made..~~

~~the time i spent on them..~~

~~the hours of distractions in class..~~

this is what made me what i am now..

but these are no more!

my class hav been a gd class in terms of result ranking,

but not all is gd..

i am part of the more better ones in sec 1..

but in sec 2 of class 2.1/

i guess the influences hav been a great weight for me..

why havent i listened in class?

why havent i woke up to listen in class?

why when onli i hav fallen down tat i start to climb?

these are the quest. i hav not found the light in them yet..

but in my path of life, i will..

i have fell, n i hav fail

i will come back up..

they say,

'success comes after a fall'

i guess mayb my life is just about to get up..

but i suffered enough Lord..

i pray you will now bring me up slowly and steadly..

i will not let anyone down Lord,

not you expecially..

in tis i pray.. amen..

i tink tat Badminton or Basketbal is not the main influence.,

but my training scheldule has been over-writing my studies..

i understand and will change from now on..

i also hav been having ups and downs in my community..

friends hav been misunderstood..

and i regret.

i regret losing the fun and joy we had..

so now,

i recommend.,

'hear no evil,

see no evil,

speak no evil..'

tis is not a fun verse but a veri important one in life's path..

i'll head it's sayings,

and slowly i'll realise more to it.,

'a picture speaks a thousand words..'

~~my words of life have been a chaotic picture..~~

time to repaint my life with meaning..

my holidays too hav been a pile of rubbish..

wont explain much,

but this comes to tat..

and slowly,

i tink we all are making a

'mountain out of a molehill'

and this hav gone wayyyy far..

so Christmas hav past,

but the Christmas spirits will always be ther..

and time to refresh ur lifes page,

and start afresh..

so i wont talk about it..

i'll just say,

time will Change one's life

and nows the time to do so or else one will regret..

~END

(pls keep ur comments on this essay, belive it or not, tat's the way i feel,

and tis essay is just a part of it..)

tank you :)

'it's my Declaration to anyone whose listening.,

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日番谷冬獅郎,

Hitsugaya Tōshirō

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